i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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