There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How does one acquire holy water?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
