You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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