So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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