things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
