remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
