somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
