rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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