you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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