you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
