what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Mom said you looked used
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
