My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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