elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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