marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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