i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
