I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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