It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
