dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
