dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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