I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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