omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
