is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
