Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
