I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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