so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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