He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
