it was like his penis was on wheels.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize