He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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