So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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