If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
no, he came in my armpit
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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