I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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