Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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