i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
