I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
