mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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