Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
