i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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