I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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