I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
