I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
