he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize