Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
