yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
