All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
