And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
