What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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