My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
