I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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