is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
