Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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