Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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