I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize