my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
