We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
