he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
