Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
