you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
