you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
