Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
