Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
